Pigs Squared, Fruit Cubed
Director Stuart Gordon did a serviceable
job adapting H.P. Lovecraft to film with the horror classics
Re-Animator and From Beyond, but what
did he do to follow them up? Half a dozen forgettable flicks
until, in 1997, Space Truckers. Which is also rather
forgettable, except that it can now be considered a genuine
example of accurate futurism.
In the movie, Dennis Hopper plays John Canyon, an interstellar
trucker who comes up against The (Space)Man and finds himself
in a universe of trouble. When we first meet Canyon, he's
hauling a load of square pigs. Square pigs: easier to breed,
more convenient to ship.
Now, according to CNN, farmers in the southern Japanese
town of Zentsuji are offering their fellow countrymen...square
"Farmers insert the melons into square, tempered glass
cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine. The
square boxes are the exact dimensions of Japanese refrigerators,
allowing full-grown watermelons to fit conveniently and
precisely onto refrigerator shelves."
Sounds a bit like what they do to
veal. Or what they did to those pigs in Space Truckers.
Bred for convenience? Sounds more like some southern Japanese
farmers trying to play God. Like a certain Dr. Herbert West
Let's hope the experiments in Gordon's earlier movies don't
prove equally prescient, else we'll find our universities
cluttered with mad scientists raising the dead, with predictably