THE LIFE, WORK AND CHRONICLES OF JEFF KOYEN: REFORMED ITINERANT, OCCASIONAL WRITER AND FRIEND TO ALMOST ALL DOGS

Pigs Squared, Fruit Cubed
Director Stuart Gordon did a serviceable job adapting H.P. Lovecraft to film with the horror classics Re-Animator and From Beyond, but what did he do to follow them up? Half a dozen forgettable flicks until, in 1997, Space Truckers. Which is also rather forgettable, except that it can now be considered a genuine example of accurate futurism.
In the movie, Dennis Hopper plays John Canyon, an interstellar trucker who comes up against The (Space)Man and finds himself in a universe of trouble. When we first meet Canyon, he's hauling a load of square pigs. Square pigs: easier to breed, more convenient to ship.
Now, according to CNN, farmers in the southern Japanese town of Zentsuji are offering their fellow countrymen...square watermelons.
"Farmers insert the melons into square, tempered glass cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine. The square boxes are the exact dimensions of Japanese refrigerators, allowing full-grown watermelons to fit conveniently and precisely onto refrigerator shelves."
Sounds a bit like what they do to veal. Or what they did to those pigs in Space Truckers. Bred for convenience? Sounds more like some southern Japanese farmers trying to play God. Like a certain Dr. Herbert West in Re-Animator?
Let's hope the experiments in Gordon's earlier movies don't prove equally prescient, else we'll find our universities cluttered with mad scientists raising the dead, with predictably disastrous results.