THE LIFE, WORK AND CHRONICLES OF JEFF KOYEN: REFORMED ITINERANT, OCCASIONAL WRITER AND FRIEND TO ALMOST ALL DOGS

Sparkling Sparky
After hearing my overheated dog slurp up water from a styrofoam cup one afternoon in the office, my coworker noted that there's not a more satisfying sound in the world. I knew exactly what she meant: it points to an innocent pleasure, a simple satisfaction. Along those lines, I'd argue that there are few better smells than that of a clean dog. Not shampoo-clean, mind you, but dog-clean. At the risk of sounding a bit weird, I must admit that the taking in of the musty smell of a clean dog strikes a primal chord, perhaps stirring a hereditary memory of man on the hunt, dog by his side.
I don't mind a pungent mutt frothy from hours of stick-chasing, or the short-lived stink after a long walk home from the office. But a constantly skanky canine? Save yourself, your loved ones and, most of all, your smelly dog. Bring him to the Dog Wash, a New York Press "Best of" winner several years ago. The establishment has continued to draw our business by remaining courteous, considerate and helpful.
Call it a gift for the dog. (It seems that a lot of dogs--mine, naturally, not included--actually enjoy being cleaned.) Or call it a gift to your spouse, whose relatives will be visiting during the holidays. A do-it-yourself scrubbing costs a mere $16 and takes about half an hour. (If you're new, don't worry: any of the staff will gladly walk you through the process.) Or they can handle the chore for $31 -- slightly more for longhair dogs (no appointment necessary, but expect to leave Rover behind for a couple hours). Grooming is available by appointment, and there are plenty of toys and treats to offer as an extra gift to your new picture of canine perfumery.